Really?? REALLY?!?!??!

i'm warning you now, plenty of colorful language ahead... I'll understand if you don't want to continue....

So here I am on the verge of a meltdown again.... I heard today from my mom that my youngest bro's girlfried is pg. At the risk of revealing what white trash my roots are I'll divulge the details anyways. So my youngest bro is basically your everyday thug. Most of any work he's ever done has been in the linE of dr. feelgood..... In and out of jail and of course he always gets a slap on the wrist.... And for some reason he always acts shocked when he gets picked up again..... So he's been with White Trash (yes, that is how she will be known from here on out) for awhile... moved her in with him at my mom's house (yes its a trailer) and they're always off again, on again... And now for some reason God has decided that the 2 people who deserve most to procreate are these 2 fucking idiots who don't work, don't contribute to society.... Never mind the fact that she lost custody of her 1st kid.... and she has had made no effort to get that child back.... and I just found out today of course she terminated her last pregnancy with my bro... I guess she can't be bothered to take a fucking bcp....

I know I sound cold and condescending... but I don't have that much in common with my family... I chose to go to work at a young age and live my life a certain way, you know, being a good member of society, paying taxes, buying ahouse... just a boring life to some, but perfect for me..... So how is it that God rewards these effing assholes with child after child and I can't get one to save my life!!!!! I just don't understand. Why why why??????? Did I mention that all of my bros are atheists... they've probably never said a prayer in their life much less daily for the last how many years for the possiblity to have a baby?

And all this on the tail end of my clomid round where I'm already an emotional mess.....God this sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!