Monday, September 19, 2011

No. 36 came and went...

Saturday was my 36th bday. It came and went without too much fanfare or heartache. The weekend was absolutely crazy. We had a wedding to go to Sat night. So I took Friday off to get my nails done and so the hubby could get some new tires on my car and an oil change and all that not-fun stuff I never want to do. Saturday as we're leaving the neighborhood to get haircuts and outfits for the wedding and we get rear-ended!!!! It was minor but any car accident shakes me up for a bit. Then Sunday I go to buy some new work pants and tell hubby I'll be home in an hour and when I go to leave the store the damn car battery is dead!!! Seriously!!!! My car had a better bday than I did. Hmph! Sooooo aggravating!!!!!!

Anywho, Fri night I did shed a few tears... My usual IF bday drama... Here I am turning 36 and no closer to even getting a BFP then I was when we started trying over 2 years ago when I was only 33. In just 1 month, my nephew turns 1 year old - this is the one that my SIL got pg with after we'd already been trying for 1 year with no results. So to me, I equate that nephew, more so than the others, with how long its been since we started trying.

So far CoachGirl's pg is going smoothly. I'm very happy for her, they've been trying about as long as we have.... but it completes the circle. EVERY female friend or relative I have has been able to get pg since we've started trying.... And what can you do about it? Absolutely nothing....

2 weekends ago I spend the day with my mom and it turns out the situation with White Trash ended up every bit as messed up as we thought it would. She watches baby AJ during the day while my mom's at work. But as soon as my mom comes home she hands the baby to her and asks if my mom will watch the baby while she goes outside to smoke. They never come back for the baby. They disappear all night without telling my mom where they're going.... I'm sure its drug-related... And the baby sleeps with my mom every night. My mom seems exhausted, more than usual. When we had my nephew's bday party at the bowling alley 2 weeks ago, my mom brought baby AJ with her. Neither one of his parents even came to the party!!!! Its just all on my mom.... And he's such a good little baby. Oddly tho, he's VERY alert for a 6 week old baby. His eyes were open the whole time! I've never seen a baby that age that awake. Don't know if that's residual from the mother's drug use or what... Of course, he has some health issues with the cleft lip/pallett and is already looking at surgery at the end of the month. But all I could think about was how much I wished they would have let me adopt him. I would have provided him with love and a good home... but I guess its just not meant to be....


  1. Saturday was my 39th birthday. I got a cancelled IVF for mine. Here's to next year being better!

  2. This Friday is my 5-year anniversary, and I got a canceled IVF for mine, too...that was supposed to be either the day after transfer or the day before transfer, depending on 3 or 5 day