So I caved and tested today....BFN.... What a shocker, right? NOT! AF should arrive tomorrow but I wanted to beat her to it. I hate hate hate how depressed I can get when she shows without warning... I figured it would be better to just test and get it over with then try to hold out hope a few more days just to be that much more devastated when she shows. HMPH! Have to do 1 more clomid cycle then the doc said he'd do a cycle with a trigger shot.... So there's that to look forward to I guess.
I guess the silver lining here is I can drink at the Kid Rock concert now.... Of course we all know what a lousy second prize that is.... I would have been thrilled to not be able to drink because i was finally finally finally knocked up!!!!! Oh well......
So tomorrow AF will probably show up and tomorrow is White Trash's 1 ultrasound and I'm sure my mother will call to tell me about it and I'll have to cry oceans upon oceans.... By the way, just found out this week, White Trash is actually 5 months along!!!!!!! And this is her 1st fucking OB appt.... Actually, I don't know if its an OB appt.... She told my mom and brother she finally found somewhere she could get a free ultrasound.... PRenatal care? Not to be concerned about if you're White Trash apparently... And my hopes that maybe by the grace of God, she'd straighten up because of the pregnancy - Guess that wasn't the case since she's already about in her last trimester and still doing what she shouldn't be doing. So yeah, this is going to be an oh-so-fun week.
Why is God punishing me?
Oh I'm so very sorry! I'm not sure why this happens to so many wonderful people who would be great mothers and others get pregnant so easily. I'm hoping that your next cycle goes much better for you and you get your BFP!
ReplyDeleteso sorry, thinking of you....
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. And I feel your pain. My white trash sis called me a few months ago and told me that she hadn't had her period in six months and hadn't been to the doctor and was worried she was pregnant with kid number three (at 22). She asked if we wanted to adopt the baby if she was pregnant (a whole other conversation), and I told her just to get her butt to her Gyn and figure out what is up. It turned out she was not pregnant, but geeze!!! Do these girls have no sense of responsibility? Clearly not. I'm really sorry that you have to deal with White Trash and at such a crappy time. I'm crossing my fingers for you that next cycle you get a BFP, and will be too distracted to have to worry about the other situation. Good luck!
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