Snow Day!!

We're expecting a winter storm tonight. The city is hunkering down and we finally got word at the end of the day that we don't have to go in tomorrow! Yay!!!! A free day off! Now let me tell you that we're only expecting 1-3 inches of snow!!! HAHAHAHAHA Yes, just 3... What can I say down in the South people FREAK out if there's even a chance of snow. I'm sure all you girls from the North are rolling your eyes at us, but hey, I'll take a free day off any day! :-)

I definitely ovulated so I started the progesterone last night. I didn't really feel any side effects. But I had the best sleep I'd had in a long time. I've heard it makes you sleepy so if that's why I slept so good then I can't wait to keep taking these pills!

One interesting thing... Before I picked up my prescription, I checked the balance of my health savings account and saw it had $116. I know there's a $5 monthly fee so when I got to the window I said a silent prayer. I prayed please let this prescription be $111 or less... Otherwise I have to pay out of pocket. I would have done that, but might as well use the tax free money from the other account, right? The pharmacist comes to the window and says "do you know how much this prescription is?" They always say that if the prescription is over $100 so I thought ohh Lord..... She says $111.07!!! Its probably stupid, but I was tickled pink!!! It was the exact amount I was praying it would be. :-) Maybe it's a sign? I know the odds are slim, but I'll take any scrap I can cling to at this point.

I did my first acupuncture session this past weekend. It was ok. The guy said that according to chinese medicine, I have a deficiency. That's evidenced by the thyroid problems and my inability to get pregnant. The appt was supposed to be $54 with my insurance discount. Then I get to the counter and he gives me 2 little bags of pills.... Just a few days worth and its $126!!!! Arrgghhh!!! I should have told me I didn't want the herbs and I'm mad at myself for paying it. I only took 1 dose. I'm kinda scared to take them because I don't know whats in them and I don't want them to screw up my thyroid..... He told me to come back Tuesday but I ended up canceling that appt. Its not something I can afford right now if that's how much its going to be!!!

The acupuncture itself was not too bad. It didn't hurt or anything which surprised me. But the part where they turn on the heat lamp, turn off the lights and tell you to relax didn't help. I couldn't stop my thoughts from racing.... I was thinking is this going to work, is it going to make a difference, did I remember to pay this bill or do that.... I would tell myself I needed to relax and could for a couple of minutes but not much of the time at all. I guess thats something you get better at with time?

By the way, Greys is on in the background... Callie just had an u/s and she's only 6 weeks along.... Of course they couldn't find the heartbeat at first so they switched to a higher resolution machine and of course there it was.... And the picture that popped up I swear to God is from a u/s that's at at least 12 weeks.... Not that I would know because I haven't been that far but I've seen others. Usually a 6-8 week u/s is a grain of rice... Thats why I quit watching this show.... so lame to me!

I think thats all for now.... I better go get ready for my 3 inches of snow! :-)

Lots of updates

First and most importantly I traded in that stupid torture device!!! Woohoo!!! I took it back to the store and exchanged it for one without an underwire. I was worried that they were going to fight me on it. But the saleslady was very nice and understanding. I mean I can't keep a $60 bra that I can't even wear without crying, right?! So problem solved!! Thanks for the suggestions on websites to go to tho. I'm definitely going to try womanwithin.com the next time I get a new bra.

I had a follow up with my thyroid doc last Thurs. Dr Z said my bloodwork looked good. But now its too high and I'm on the other side of the normal range at 0.3. A month ago I was at 1.4 so it must have been that T3. I started to freak out that she was going to take away the T3!!! I can't go back to sleeping all the time like I was without it!!!! I told her as much so she cut down my synthroid 2 days a week instead. Whew!!!! And now I don't have to redo my bloodwork for 3 months. Yay!!!

One concerning note tho - they redid my thyroid u/s and found a new cyst. Hmph!!!! At the last one I had 3 nodules. They've all shrank since I've started taking the drugs. So this popped out of nowhere. And he said this was a cyst not a nodule. And it already grew to 0.5 cm even tho I'm on the medicine that should shrink them!!! So I'm a little concerned about this one. Generally according to Dr. Google they're suspicious if they're fast growing and depending on if they're solid or fluid which he didn't tell me. So Dr Z will review the results and get back to me. God I hope I don't have to redo that effing biopsy!!!!! If I do I'm going to ask for a valium or nerve pill of some sort to take beforehand. I can't go in there without anything again now that I know how painful it will be.

The POAS marathon has now commenced! I've been using the cheapo internet sticks since CD 9. I'm thinking I might be Oing this weekend which would be REALLY early for me. But maybe because my thryoid hormones are all straightened out, its changing???? Has this happened to anyone else? Basically CD 9 was super light. CD 10 was very dark, but not quite positive. CD 11 was significantly lighter again. Also all my EWCM is gone. That was mostly CD9-10 also. Is it really possible I O'd this early?!?!?!? This morning's stick was super light but I'm taking one again this evening. I guess if its light too I should assume that my LH surge was CD 10? That would put O definitelly over with by today, right? Dr Wonderful said to start the progesterone 3 days after ovulation so I should start it on Wed? Does this sound right? I really wish I would have taken more than one test on CD 10. Arrgghh!!!! I'm so mad at myself....

For me?!?!?!

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Torture devices

I don't think I mentioned that I went bra shopping over the weekend. Ugh!!! I had been putting it off forever cause I knew I had to go up ANOTHER cup size. When we were skating last week tho, I fell down and my boob pretty much popped right out of the bra! Talk about embarrassing... hehe So I went to a specialty store that stocks everything up to an N! Whew! Not that I'm an N.... but I definitely can't buy bras at the mall anymore. Hmph!

While I was there I overheard another customer who was getting a nursing bra in my size. I was so relieved that they sell nursing bras in this size!!! I've always been worried that IF I ever get prego, where the hell am I going to get a bra?!?!? So now one more piece of the puzzle has fallen in place for me... Now if we could ACTUALLY just get prego .....

But this new bra is TORTURE!!! UGH!!!! Its the right size so its not uncomfortable because its too tight or ill-fitting. Its the DAMN underwire! God I hate underwire!!! I think the only reason it was invented was to make our lives hell yet give our bosoms a nice lift.... That means a man must have invented it! hehehe

I have another appt with the thyroid doc tomorrow. I'm going to see if I can up my dose of T3. I ended up being short a few pills so I didn't take any this weekend so I'd have enough to get me through the work week. Right away I totally felt like I used to. I slept 11 hours Fri night and still had to take a 2 hour nap on Sat. Blah!!!! I haven't taken one single nap since I started the T3 a month ago. Now I see I seriously have to take these meds the rest of my life. I cannot go back to feeling that way! My thyroid doc is very sympathetic tho. And when she started me on T3 she said we'll start with a small dose cause some people are sensitive to T3. So I'm sure she'll let me bump up to the next dose. Fingers are crossed anyways....

New RE

I had my first appt with the new doc today and the verdict is in - I LOVE HIM!!! I might just call him Dr. Wonderful.. :-) He really put me at ease.... and answered all my questions and gave me a definite timeline.... I'm doing clomid/progesterone for 2 months. If that doesn't work we're upping my dose and doing a trigger shot for a couple of months. If that doesn't work we can move to IUI. Yay!!! I ACTUALLY HAVE A SCRIP FOR CLOMID IN MY HAND!!! I know it's no guarantee... but I feel like I'm finally taking action and can progress throught the steps. With my old doc I felt like he kept all the possible treatment options under a shroud of secrecy.... He was very tight-lipped and I hate that!!!!

So I won't be able to start the fun and games until next month since I'm already on CD 6..... but I feel like there's hope for this year after all!!!!

On another note, on night last week I went roller skating with my mom. And the roller derby girls were there practicing!!!! They had on crazy tutus and leggings and it looked like so much fun!!!!! I started looking online and you can take skate lessons from derby girls to get the basics down. Sounds like fun!!! Even my mom is up for it!! Of course, I'm not stupid like Plain Jane so if I get so much as a hint of a BFP I'll hang up my skates for good... But in the meantime, I can't stop living, right??? Its feels good to get all my frustration tunneled into something. :-)

Thursday I have a follow up appt with Dr Z about my 1st month on the T3 pills. Those pills are life-changing. I was running low so I didn't take any over the weekend so I'd have enough to get me to my next appt. And just like that, I was exhausted and taking 2 hour naps after sleeping for 11 hours!!! Its crazy what a difference it makes!!!! I'm going to ask her on Thurs if I can try the next dosage up....just to see if that makes a difference. And my hard-headed mother FINALLY has an appt with her this week... I've been telling her since Oct to get in to see Dr. Z.!! She's wants to try the T3 pills too cause she still has a lot of hypo symptoms as well.

I guess that's all that's going on right now... I hope everyone is having a good week out there!!

CD1

When I woke up this morning AF was finally here. I'm kind of relieved. I have been soooo weepy and overly emotional the last few days I couldn't take much more of that. I already feel less PMS-y. I'm starting to feel positive again. I hate when I get stuck in a funk like I have been the last few days..... I suppose we all do... Last cycle was a 28 day cycle which I think has GOT to be better for TTC than a 25 day cycle. Maybe now that my thyroid meds are stable my cycle will go back to being normal. A girl can hope can't she? :-)

I'm switching to my friend's RE and I couldn't believe it - they can see me on Monday! Woo! I thought for sure it would be a month to get in. So I've ordered my records from my old RE and hopefully they'll get faxed over by Monday's appt. I'm really excited! My old RE "didn't believe" in luteal phase defects... but my friend spoke to her doc about me and he said the treats all dysfunctions. Whew!!! I'm hoping to at least be able to try something different.

I really want to start trying acupuncture too. I've been researching some facilities in the area but more than likely I'll have to wait until the ol' tax refund comes in to be able to start that up. Oh well, at least its something to look forward too.

Oh yes, spoke to the mother this morning and reiterated that she HAS TO warn me if Plain Jane is going to be around. I have to steel myself for whatever stupid thing Plain Jane is going to say or do... My mother agreed. I guess we'll see if she sticks to it.

Thanks for all the well wishes the last couple of days! You guys are an amazing support system and I think I seriously would have lost my mind if I couldn't vent to ya'll. :-)

People are idiots!!!

I know I've been complaining a lot lately, but this is the last one I promise. Hopefully nobody else makes me mad anyways. :-)

At lunch today a 60+-year-old coworker out of the blue starts talking about so many people have problems getting pregnant these days.... I've never talked to her about my struggles so I don't know where that came from.... Anyways she goes on to say its our fault for taking birth control for so long... What did people think would happen.... SERIOUSLY?!?!? Never mind that this isn't the 50's anymore where women had no choice but to get married and get knocked up... Never mind that I wanted to finish college, get a career going, and buy a house before I had kids.... I guess I deserve what's coming to me.... GRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Or never mind that there are theories that we're receiving too many hormones from our environment which causes girls to go into puberty way earlier than they used to and possibly increases fertility problems..... Or what about the possiblity that my mom's generation, including my mom and her friends, had all their kids and their tubes tied by the time they hit 30. Many also had hysterectomies by then, so how do they know whether or not they would have been able to get pregnant. Is this what normal people think about IFers?????

I'm already having a very weepy, emotional week and then I have to listen to this shit at lunch? I went back to work early and ended up crying until I get myself under control. I HATE STUPID PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for letting me vent!!! I needed it!!!!