Back from the Pit of Despair

So I took my last BFN really hard. I don't know what's wrong with me. I cried for like 10 days. Finally on Friday I was able to get through the day without crying. And I've been ok since. I feel like I'm being such a drama queen, complaining so much about a stupid BFN. Maybe it was the clomid too. I was feeling pretty hopeless the last month I took it. Stupid hormones!!!! And I'm sure this doesn't even compare to what so many of you have gone through with injectibles. I don't know how you do it.... While I was in my miserable funk, I made the mistake of calling my mother..... Yeah, won't do that ever again if I need to feel better. She says the usual "just be patient".... I tell her I've been patient for 2 years.... isn't that long enough? She says "you can't say its been a long time until its been 5 or 6 years...." What?!?!??!!?! Then I blew up and told it has been 5 years off and on.... I'm only counting 2 years because we've tried every cycle for these 2 years... before it was just off and on so I'm not even counting those years... But I feel like I've been stuck in this same point for YEARS and its definitely taking a toll on me. She says "You can't keep getting upset every time you get a cycle." .... That's my mother for you.... helpful as ever.... So this Tuesday the 19th I took the day off for my multitude of doc appts. I have my well-woman in the morning. I'm going to talk to the doc about what's the next step - IUIs... Then I see my GP. I'm going to ask her to increase my antidepressants. I can't take another week and a half like I just went through. ThenI have an appt with the thyroid doc. I'm sure my levels are fine now. I'm sure I'll have to do another u/s of my thyroid since lucky me had a new cyst pop on my last u/s. I knew they should have just taken that stupid thyroid out. Oh well, its nothing I can't handle. Looking at the calendar it looks like AF is due to start the day before Mothers Day. Are you freaking kidding me????? So I'll know the cycle is a failure and then have to go sit in a stupid restaurant with every pregnant woman. Ugh!!! I have been dreading Mother's Day for months. I get upset every time I think about it and now AF will more than likely be here that day. I'm going to be a wreck. I'm thinking I might have to boycott this year and barricade myself in the house for the day. Told you I've turned into a total drama queen.....