I'm back from vacationing in the Pacific Northwest. Let me tell you it was wonderful!!!! The temp never got over 70! Considering its 100+ every day where I am now, I thought it was wonderful, even when it drizzled a couple of days. We did some cool things like visit Mt St Helens. We shopped and ate out at some great restaurants. It was soooo hard to drag myself back in to work after a week of luxury!
My dad and I had some good talks. I'm thankful he is who he is. Some days it got to be a little emotionally heavy, but still, its better than any relationship I will ever be able to have with my mother.
Baby AJ spent his first week in the hospital. :-( He was on IV's and feeding tubes. But he's out now. He's still not gaining enough weight so they're probably going to have to go back to feeding tubes. Poor thing.... What a way to start out...
AF should arrive this weekend. No real hope for this cycle. We only managed to do the deed once during the fertile time... So, whatever.... *shrugs*
Twice this week I've had stupid dreams about being pg. One I actually dreamed I made it far enough to give birth. I rarely have pg dreams in the first place, but I don't think I've EVER made it to giving birth when I do. So they're pretty much freaking me out... Here I am trying to be more zen about TTC... and maybe even try to move on, and now I have to have these stupid dreams??? Maybe its my subconcious trying to work things out for me.
So before I left hubby and I were having a good lunch and I brought up the A-word... and without crying!!!! It was a miracle!!! Usually I'm a mess if I have to talk about giving up TTC. But I told hubby when I get back, I think I want to look into adoption and he said "ok"..... I realize we didn't get into the nitty-gritty details, but in the past if I've brought it up, he's immediately rejected even talking about the idea. So at least its out there. I don't know if logistically it will be an option for us as far as costs and the hoops we'll have to jump through. I really have no idea even what the first step would be.... have no idea where to find the info... I guess that will be my next research project.
Glad you enjoyed your trip - I am sure the weather was a nice break - living here, I personally am tired of the dreary and less than warm weather - I need some summer!
ReplyDeleteGlad that you are able to talk about alternative options without a. crying and b. your husband rejecting the idea.
Good luck!
Glad you had a great vacation! We all need those every once in a while.
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