Sigh...

I know this sounds awful but I don't allow myself to pee on HPT's EVER. Its a pact I made with myself that I'm only allowed a HPT if AF is actually late. Why you might ask? Because I can't stand the hope that will inevitably sneak in as I wait those 3 minutes... just to come crashing down when there's only 1 line. So that little bitch AF didn't show up on time... I know she's doing this just to fuck with me.... She was due yesterday and I am NEVER late.... So as the day progressed I started to get little twinges of hope.... what if this is THE cycle!!?!? Mind you, I have no symptoms, real or imaginary.... This morning I caved and took the stupid test. OF COURSE I got a stupid BFN... I don't know why I thought it would be anything else.... Stupid AF, stupid pee sticks of hope and stupid me for letting it get to me!!! ARRGGHHH!!!!

One funny thing tho, I remember my dream right before I woke up... I had peed on the stick and left it to cook for its 3 mins... when someone walked up and said they already looked at it and it was negative.... I slapped that guy across the face with all the strength I had in my body... Literally the second the slap was over the alarm went off... Guess I'm tired of BFN's even in my dreams... So like I said in the title... Sigh....